Ever since I can remember, moving to New York City has been a dream of mine. I think back to the first time I drove across the Manhattan Bridge to enter the concrete jungle. It was 2010 and I was set to spend an east coast summer in the Hampton’s. A calming sensation fell over me as soon as I heard the sound of sirens and car horns blaring. The true sign of someone meant to live in a city.
I specifically remember emerging out of the subway for the first time, only to arrive in the middle of Bryant park. And more importantly, realizing in that moment that public transportation was incredible. Or picnicking in Central Park for the first time, settled right under the trees on the bank of the pond, with a perfect view of Gapstow bridge. I remember the heat of wandering through Battery Park in July for a glimpse of Lady Liberty in the distance. Strolling through an empty Wall Street inspired me and opened my eyes to the unlimited possibilities the concrete jungle held.
After that summer, I made it my goal to one day return to the big apple – for good. While I may not have picked New York City for my forever home, I was able to return and live in the city for an entire year. It was one of the most life-changing years of my 27 years on this earth, and definitely the most challenging. If you are thinking about making the move to the city that never sleeps, I am here to provide you with a little bit of insight. These are all my personal opinions after spending one year within the walls of the concrete jungle, so take every point with a grain of salt. Everyone is going to have a different experience.
That being said, I encourage everyone to spend at least one year in New York City. The city we love to hate, but hate to leave, the big apple will always remain a home to me. Here is my ultimate guide to moving to New York City:
…on finding an apartment in New York
Before anything else, you have to decide where you want to live in New York City. The city is made up of five boroughs: Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, Staten Island, and the Bronx. When people dream of living in New York City, their dream normally starts and ends in Manhattan. And while this dream is somewhat attainable, I’m here to tell you, it won’t come without compromises.
If you must live in Manhattan, there are a few options. Of course this all depends on your budget. Mine was around $1,000 – 1,200 a month, so you can imagine the utter disappointment I felt when I discovered how nearly impossible {even with roommates} this is in Manhattan. Sure, I found a place in Washington Heights, but you may as well be living in the Bronx for how far away you actually are to anything significant in Manhattan. It would have taken me an hour {one way} on the subway just to commute into midtown each day.
If you can afford upwards of $3,000 – 5,000 a month, you can definitely find a place in Manhattan. If not however, I suggest swallowing your pride, and kissing your Sex and the City dreams goodbye. Harsh? Welcome to New York.
I ended up moving to Crown Heights in Brooklyn, and commuting 35-40 minutes into midtown Manhattan each day for work. Door to door, I could be in downtown Manhattan within 25 minutes. Even from more expensive areas of Manhattan, it would take the same amount of time to reach the same destination within the city. I will admit that while Brooklyn is always up-and-coming, trendy, and easier on the bank, I still would have preferred to live in Manhattan.
My rent rounded up to $1,100 with utilities, I lived with two roommates {both of which I didn’t know prior to arriving in New York}, I had a dishwasher, washing machine, and dryer in the apartment {which everyone will tell you is unheard of}, exposed brick, and lived around the corner from an express subway stop. So, how did I do it? Realistically, I got ridiculous lucky. Technically, I used a website called Diggz.
You’ve probably heard those horror stories about attempting to find an apartment on Craigslist. Yeah, I had heard them too. Therefore, I avoided Craigslist whenever possible during my hunt for an apartment. Instead I signed up for two or three roommate matching sites, Diggz being one of them. Most of these sites function like Match.com – you create a profile which tells your potential roommate a little about yourself. You choose preferences for cost of rent, location, etc. The website will then take the criteria and find you some potential matches.
Diggz was specifically set up to find roommates in New York City, however they offer services in San Francisco, LA, Chicago, and Miami. I am in no way sponsored to write about the site, but it happens to be the one that matched me with two great roommates from Boston.
…on dating in New York
If there is anything Sex and the City, F.R.I.E.N.D.S., and nearly every sitcom based in New York does tell you, it’s how much fun dating in this city is. You are quite literally dropped in the middle of the worlds largest melting pot, with the potential to meet so many new people from all walks of life. I’m telling you, there is someone for everyone in the city that never sleeps.
Prior to moving to New York, I ended a long-term, long-distance relationship and was in no state to be jumping into anything serious. That being said, I have always been a somewhat of a serial monogamist. I rarely ever dated just to date. Keeping that in mind, I decided to put on my big girl panties and do some grown up dating in the big apple.
I dated two people last year – each for a time period lasting approximately three months. Let me be clear, I wasn’t dating them at the same time {ain’t nobody got time for that – literally}. I met them both organically – one in a bar, the other through mutual friends. One of them wasn’t actually from New York at all, and lived in Connecticut when I met him {you know me and long distance…}. The other was an attorney working in midtown who also happened to have an awesome apartment with a view of the Empire State Building a few blocks from my office {jackpot! – ha}.
I’m not big on online dating, as in, I once downloaded a dating app for a week, and immediately deleted it before ever meeting anyone. And that’s my entire history with online dating. There is absolutely nothing wrong with online dating, and it may indeed be the platform in which I meet someone when I eventually dive into the dating pool again. At that point in time though, it just wasn’t for me. It was, however, how my friends met a majority of their dates, boyfriends, fiances, etc. in New York City. Some popular apps in New York include Bumble, Hinge, Match.com, and of course Tinder.
Regardless of how you meet someone, once you do, you’ll find yourself in the biggest adult playground in the world. New York is a fabulous place for picking dates because, again, there is something for everyone. Some of my dates included a Yankees Game, a picnic in central park, a Rangers game, night{s} in Hoboken {though I don’t think these really count – but had to include them for ‘sentimental’ purposes}, a Mets Game {do we sense a pattern?} and the good old fashion night out at the movies. And the restaurants you guys – world renowned. You simply can’t go wrong in New York.
Overall, the dating scene is New York is just as vibrant as the lights in Times Square. Go into it with an open mind and zero expectations – as you should do with most things in life.
…on finding a job in New York
Ah, the dreaded job hunt; an exhausting task – made even more daunting in the big apple. If you are new to New York, it can feel extremely overwhelming when you begin looking for a job. I arrived in New York without a job or a place to live. Within two weeks, I had landed a job and moved into my Brooklyn apartment. I’m here to tell you it can be done!
First things first, you can’t be indecisive. I mean, you can be, but you may be looking for a while. Things move at the speed of light in New York. Apartments are only on the market for a week or so before someone is signing the lease – and the same can be said for jobs.
My background is largely in the legal field, so initially those were the jobs I was looking for. That being said, my resume was {and still is} a mess. I had just returned from a year in Europe and unfortunately, chasing a three year old wasn’t nearly as impressive on my resume as I assumed it would be. Safe to say traveling the world on a whim didn’t bode well in the corporate interview room. Therefore, I knew I couldn’t be picky.
I accepted the first job I was offered. I don’t know if this is sound advice or not, but it’s all I’ve got. That being said, I knew I needed to start making money, the salary was reasonable, and the position was temporary. I worked as a receptionist in a private equity firm – and yes, it’s as boring as it sounds. That being said, within two months I was promoted to work with the legal team, earning me a raise, permanency, and a new job title.
The lesson here being, you never know what opportunities will arise from initially taking the less-than-ideal position. I’m not telling you to lower your standards when choosing a job, but once again, just be open minded about the possibilities it might lead to.
If you are struggling to find a job via Craigslist, Monster, Indeed, etc., I suggest hiring a recruiter. And when I say ‘hire’ I mean allow yourself to be harassed by a recruiting agency to the point you want to throw your phone against the beautiful exposed brick in your New York apartment. Recruiters are a pain the ass – there is no way around it. If you can manage to compose yourself long enough for them to set up some interviews for you however, it might pay off. Especially if you are initially looking for a temp role before eventually landing your dream job.
You can find recruiting agencies on every block in New York, but they tend to disguise themselves in job listings, so be cautious. More often than not an email would pop up in my inbox asking for an interview, I’d immediately get way too excited, mentally prepare myself to meet the CEO because obviously if they responded so fast they must be serious and I should expect the royal treatment, only to arrive at a recruiting agency alongside hundreds of other applicants. Eventually you will be able to distinguish the actual interviews from the bullshit recruiting interviews – keep your head up. And remember, no CEO wants to meet you. Ever.
…on budgeting in New York
It’s no secret that New York has always been one of the most expensive cities in the world. After living here for a year, I can absolutely attest to this. Even with cities like San Francisco surpassing the big apple in terms of rent and cost of living, I still found New York burned an absurdly large hole in my wallet.
I pride myself on money management and have always considered myself a responsible spender – I met my match with New York. There is this love-hate thing about New York, and I have an entire blog post dedicated to this subject that will be coming out soon, but for now… Everyone living within the walls of the concrete jungle despise this city just as much as they adore it. I’m not kidding – ask anyone.
Therefore, after a long day of battle in the trenches, most people want to let off steam – cue happy hour. If I was asked to recall every dollar I spent at a New York happy hour, I might keel over in disgust. But that’s just what people do in the big apple, and if you don’t hop on the {alcohol} train leaving the station, do you even live in New York? I realize none of that made sense. But you get it – it’s a right of passage.
As is brunch… which we will learn more about later. But you don’t need to know much about brunch in New York to know that it occurs every weekend, there is a copious amount of alcohol consumed, and half of your paycheck will be spent on mimosas and eggs benedict. Byyyye.
After brunch and happy hours, you must remember you now live in the epicenter of the world when it comes to shopping. So, naturally, another large portion of your paycheck will be spent on over-sized sweaters and too many headbands.
Don’t forget rent with those sky-high prices for your lack of ‘sky-high’ apartment. I mean, at this point we are in the negatives and we haven’t accounted for public transportation costs, groceries, gym membership {should you be so inclined}, Target runs, student loans, etc.
My only piece of advice is to accept the fact that you can’t do it all. Sunday’s are meant for lounging around in sweatpants – even in New York. You don’t have to change your entire life simply because a new opportunity knocks at every hour of the day. There is always something to do in New York. Just because New York refuses to sleep, it doesn’t mean you have to.
…on New Yorker’s
New Yorker’s are the best humans in the world – for multiple reasons. But the most significant reason {in my experience} is the fact that no one gives a rat’s ass. About anything. I mean, think about the freedom this brings to the concrete jungle.
Sure, no one is going to notice if you suddenly get hit by a Taxi and require medical attention, but at the same time, no one is going to notice if you forgot to wash your hair, iron your clothes, or put on make up that day. Hell, you could live your life in whatever fashion you please and receive zero judgment for it. It’s the most liberating feeling in the world, to be surrounded by so many individuals that simply don’t care.
On another note, New Yorker’s are big softies. I know they get a bad reputation when tourists visit the big apple, but after living in New York for a year, I get it. Hurry up, or move over. Last year, I met some of the kindest strangers in New York City on a daily basis.
It’s a tough city, but because of this, the people residing within it’s concrete walls share a bond that cannot be explained to any outsider. Sure, some people are only out for themselves, but along the way they’ve had to admit that we are all in this together.
The best way to survive alongside these people is to fake it ’til you make it. That doesn’t mean becoming an asshole. More so it means go with flow until you understand the way things work in the big apple. Don’t be afraid to feel out of place initially.
It will only take a few instances of indecisiveness on the subway to realize that you take any seat you can get. You’ll get left behind by groups of friends jay walking enough times that eventually you’ll be risking your life like the rest of us {and how dare that car almost hit you while they rightfully drive through a green light – the nerve}. It will only take one person shoulder checking you to remember to keep your head straight while you walk, free of diversions and distractions.
The truth of the matter is, it’s nothing personal. People in New York have places to be and people to see. To them, you’re nothing more than an obstacle making their already over-stimulated, under-caffeinated, difficult life harder {trust me I worked as an EA in Manhattan – I get it}. You’re allowed to roll your eyes and pity yourself {only for a second} after someone shoves you and says, ‘KEEP MOVING!’, just don’t let them see you do it. Overall they mean well, I promise. And if all else fails, buy them a bagel.
…on taking the subway in New York
If you are planning to move to New York, you’re going to experience the sweaty, dirty, always-delayed subway – it’s a right of passage. I know I’m painting a great picture of the underground system for you, but I promise it will make your life so much easier {most days}.
I worked with some people in my office who felt they were too good for the subway and I never understood it. They would explain how they took an Uber seven blocks to work, and scoff at the idea of public transportation. Let me break this down for you, folks. For $121.00 a month, you are granted unlimited rides on the subway. This means, if you commute to work {there and back} once a day for five days, then use your metro card 4 times each weekend, you’ve paid for your metro card. And trust me, you’ll use it plenty more than that. Why anyone would choose any other form of transportation is beyond me.
I once went on a date with a guy who insisted on taking a cab three blocks… The entire ordeal cost us about $4.00, and we would have arrived sooner by walking. Granted it was snowing at the time, but I was more than happy to continue on foot. In fact, I almost told him I would meet him there. Safe to say that didn’t blossom into anything more than friendship.
What I’m trying to say is you can do yourself a favor by opting for public transportation, or even better, your own two feet. Save the cabs for rainy evenings, the days you don’t want to cry in public {though you inevitably will}, or after a night out drinking.
The cost for a single subway ride will cost you $2.75 and 7-day unlimited ride will cost you $13.00. I suggest downloading a map of the subway lines on your phone, and in terms of journey planning, the internet is lacking. Your best bet: MTA Trip Planner. And Google Maps works allllllright.
…on brunch in New York
I quickly wanted to touch on the phenomenon of brunch in New York. I don’t know when it becomes such a right of passage, but I am not complaining about it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, brunch is a sport in the big apple. It’s taken very seriously, and therefore you’ll find a brunch spot on every corner these days. The trick is finding the perfect one.
Here is the recipe for the perfect brunch location:
– Bottomless mimosas {or champagne, or sangria, or whatever alcoholic beverage your prefer}: this doesn’t mean you drink mimosas without bottoms on. It means you get unlimited mimosas served to your table while you eat brunch.
– At least a 1.5-hour participation time frame: this means that you have at least an hour and a half of bottomless drinks being served to your table. Anything less simply isn’t worth it. A lot of places will start counting down when your reservation begins. Meaning if you are late – too bad. You’ll be missing out on good, pure, bottomless drinking time.
– Avoid set menus if you can: they usually include less food than you would receive on the normal brunch menu. Instead, opt for a brunch place where bottomless is available as an add-on feature to your meal.
– Good food: obviously. Although, sometimes this can be easier said than done. Read your reviews people!
– A decent price point: think about how many mimosas you will actually consume, and then think realistically about how much you would pay per drink if it wasn’t bottomless. The best deals are usually around $30.00 – and these include an entree.
So, where can we find these magical brunch spots? Glad you asked. Some of my favorites include: Piquant {located in downtown Brooklyn – $25.00 for a huge entree and unlimited mimosas or sangria}, Tre {located in the East Village – $28.00 for bottomless brunch plus an entree}, Hotel Chantelle {okay so technically not bottomless, the drinks are only $0.92 each during brunch which is basically free according to New York prices – and the atmosphere is phenomenal}, 1749 Wine Bar {located on the Upper East Side – $19.00 unlimited mimosas for 2 hours plus an entree} and my personal favorite brunch location in New York City, Union Bar and Kitchen.
I celebrated my 26th birthday at Union Bar and Kitchen and returned multiple times over the course of the year. For $33.00 you will eat some of the best brunch entrees in town. Additionally, you’ll receive bottomless mimosas {or bellinis} for an hour and a half. And the service you guys: amazing. Your glass will never be empty – the waiters come around with refills constantly so you truly get your money’s worth. Sadly, the price is going up to $38.00 come April and I’m real pissed about it.
Phew – that was a long one. But there you have it – the ultimate guide to moving to New York City. Moving to the concrete jungle was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. You are guaranteed to have multiple ups and downs living in New York. That being said, in the end, it’s all worth it. I’m living proof that it can be done – and within the span of two weeks.
You can read about 10 things I learned after moving to New York, here which offers more specific advice about random things in the city. And, you’ll find 10 more things I learned, 6 months later, here . If it tickles your fancy, you can read about the 10 things I miss most about New York City, here. Shamless plug. Shamless plug. Shameless plug. Check, check, check.
Sometimes I wonder to myself if I would do it all over again. My answer {after some reflection} is always absolutely, 100%, without-a-doubt, YES. And who knows, maybe one day I will.
Would you ever move to the big apple? If not, why?
