Recollections En Route: I Left My Heart in Berlin

I was very surprised by how quickly I fell in love with Berlin last year. Germany, in general, has made it in to my top three travel destinations OF ALL TIME. Unlike London, another city that stole my heart immediately, Berlin didn’t have a fancy parliament building or colorful streets to showcase its charm. Belin was rough. It was honestly one of the least aesthetically pleasing cities I’ve visited.

And maybe that sounds cruel.

But the fact that Berlin was less than visually appealing had no effect on my love for the city. In fact, I love Berlin even more because of this. We are talking unconditional love here people.

The simple truth is that I left my heart in Berlin, and I have yet to get it back. For whatever reason, or purpose, I have a feeling I will need to return to discover just what it is that I can’t let go of.

Maybe I fell in love with Berlin because of my personal ties to the city. During the Cold War my Dad was stationed in Berlin for a number of years. He worked as a translator since he was fluent in German. He decided to volunteer for the Army after receiving a very low draft number, this way he could control how he spent his time serving his country. You could basically call him a spy. I always do. Because that’s what he was and who doesn’t want to tell their friends their Dad used to be a spy? Right?!

While visiting Berlin, I made it a point to follow in his footsteps and see his old stomping grounds. Teufelsberg is a former spy station located on the outskirts of Berlin, and where my Dad spent hours of his time in the Army. The entire property has been somewhat converted into an art exhibit, featuring graffiti and large murals on every inch of wall space. You can climb up the spy towers which lead you to a rooftop view of the entire city of Berlin.

The whole moment was breathtaking. Standing where my Dad stood so many years ago. Knowing I was safe and feeling fearless as a young woman traveling the world. We lived in different times, and yet shared the same space in one way or another. Each taking away a perspective so contrary to the other. It is a memory I will cherish forever.

Maybe I fell in love with Berlin because of its somewhat recent, devastating history. Why is it that we as humans are drawn to disaster? We can’t help but stare at the accident on the side of the road. News channels exaggerate stories of despair because it’s ‘what the people want’. I mean, how is this normal?

And yet, I find myself most intrigued with places connected to historical turmoil. It tears at my heartstrings and forces me to feel real emotions like empathy and compassion. Cities like Berlin humble me. I find myself complaining less about trivial things, and focusing my energy on more important matters.

Witnessing the Berlin Wall for the first time provoked something inside of me. I envisioned those brave, desperate men attempting to climb the wall to freedom, only to be shot down. I couldn’t fathom the unbearable events that took place right where I stood.

I wanted to do something about it. I wanted to tell someone that I cared. That those people who died were somewhat remembered. That everyone involved in the war was remembered. All I could do was reach out my hand and brush my fingers along the concrete wall.

Perhaps I fell in love with Berlin because it is one of the hippest cities in Europe. I cannot go on, and on about the nightlife like some of my fellow travelers because, to be honest, my craziest night included two glasses of wine and lights out at 11:00 PM. Partying was not on my itinerary for most of my travels throughout Europe, so frankly I am no expert. However, I have friends that attending New Year’s Eve in Berlin and found it unbelievable. Berlin has a reputation for being the place to be as a young person. The vibe is just a good one, and I can attest to that.

Finally, maybe I fell in love with Berlin because I was in the process of falling out of love with someone else. We all need a rebound, right? I was in an all-around weird place mentally. I needed a distraction from absolutely everything, and so I let Berlin fully consume me. I gave it my full attention, and in doing so, I formed a great love for the city.

You know the feeling you get? The one that resonates with you long after the moment passes? The feeling of absolute certainty that you were meant to be in a certain place, at a certain time, for a certain reason. Almost a gut feeling of sorts. I’ve felt this {truly} only a handful of times. I felt it when making the decision to study abroad in New Zealand, over Australia. I felt it the first time I touched down in London and laid my eyes on Big Ben. I felt it driving across the Manhattan Bridge upon entering New York City for the first time years ago. And again, I felt it in Berlin. For one reason or another, I have been drawn to these places. And each time I get this feeling, I follow it. I allow it to take me where I need to be. I have returned to live in New Zealand, London, and New York.