How to Combat Homesickness While Abroad

We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. It may have been your very first sleepover that you first experienced homesickness. Maybe it was when you left for University, waving goodbye from your dorm room. But nothing truly compares to experiencing homesickness from abroad.

Allow yourself to breakdown

Go on. Let it all out. Ugly cry for as long as you need. After all you’re all alone, no one will see you. Or care. Too soon? All jokes aside, there is a reason you feel a complete sense of emptiness. And it is absolutely reasonable to 1) feel the way you do and 2) express yourself accordingly.

Even if we would like to avoid them sometimes, emotions are real. And the only way to begin to feel better about overcoming them, is to experience them. It’s just a fact of life. It is okay to feel sorry for yourself, lonely, and pathetic. Just not for too long. The longer you attempt to brush these feelings off, the longer they will remain. So grant yourself some time to be homesick. It won’t last forever.

When I first arrived at the university dorms in New Zealand, after 16+ hours of traveling, all I wanted to do was shower. I quickly realized I hadn’t packed a towel, and immediately burst into tears. How could I not have packed a towel? Where do I even begin to get into town? I don’t have a phone to call anyone and ask. How long will it be before they find me here, hungry, alone, and not showered? Dramatic much?

This breakdown had less to do with the towel and more so to do with the fact that I was out of my comfort zone and feeling alone. Within moments, a Kiwi lad walked by my dorm and kindly offered me a towel. We ended up becoming mates and I will never forget that simple, but absolutely unforgettable, gesture.

Start making plans {even if they are with yourself}

The most important suggestion I can give to you is to begin making plans in your new location. Take baby steps if you must. Research the most Instagrammable cafes in your area {destined to be charming and/or unique}. Take a book, order a cup of coffee, and slowly immerse yourself into your new home. No one said you had to move to Greece and suddenly start smashing plates and smoking cigarettes.

But once you begin making plans, you will start to feel a sense of purpose. You will feel accomplished after a day of sightseeing or museum hopping. And you’ll start to become distracted. When I first moved to London, the first thing I did was ride the tube to see Big Ben. And then I went straight back home. It can be overwhelming to be alone in a new place. But to surround myself with people, even strangers, felt nice. Baby steps, people.

Develop a routine

If aimlessly wandering the streets of your new location seems daunting, try to get into a basic, daily routine. Even if it is as simple as waking up at a specific time each morning, emptying the dishwasher, and making a cup of coffee. This is another way to create purpose. Set obligations for yourself. Pick a day of the week to collect groceries and stick to it each week. Make lists. Try to normalize your situation as much as possible.

Exercise

Ugh. But, really? Like, do I have to? The short answer is, no. However, staying active has shown to release endorphins and boost your mood and energy levels. Must I quote Legally Blonde here? ABSOLUTELY. “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.” And they don’t stay homesick! Even if it involves taking a walk around the block. Get your blood moving and I promise you will see a difference in the way you feel.

Learn to appreciate your surroundings

Sure, in theory, practicing gratitude while you are homesick sounds managable. However, when you are curled up in a bed in the middle of the afternoon, because you can’t imagine feeling an ounce of happiness, it just isn’t going to happen. From personal experience, I must at least ask you to try.

Get out of bed, take a warm shower, {forget the make-up, why bother today?}, put on some loose clothing, and just take a walk. If you are living abroad, it most likely means you are excited to explore the town or city you reside in. Or at least you were before you became emotionally unstable and lonely. I feel you.

I hold onto few regrets in life. However, one of them includes not exploring the city of Prague during my five days visiting. I went through a break up abroad, and was completely alone. I wasn’t in London, surrounded by friends and family. I wasn’t in California where I could easily go a Netflix bender and cry to my parents. I was in the middle of a three month trip around Europe. I was in Prague for crying out loud! Literally and figuratively.

And yet, I could barely muster the energy to make it out of my Air Bnb for one day of sightseeing {let alone five}. I just wanted to be home. But now looking back, I wish I would have just forced myself to get up and explore. Even if I was feeling miserable, even if it meant crying on public transportation while everyone stared, even if I failed to take a single photo.

Because now, I wish I would have seen the astronomical clock I so desperately hoped to witness. I wish I would have analyzed the Dancing House up close in person. I wish I could have found a lovely rooftop to gaze from. Overall, I wish I had something to remember Prague. Other than the endless amounts of Orange is the New Black episodes I watched and re-watched.

Remember that nothing is permanent

Seriously think about this one for a moment. A friend of mine from California is moving across the country in a few short weeks {YAY!}. Even though I am absolutely thrilled she will be joining me on the east coast, she has some reservations. As we all do before uprooting our life to live in a foreign place. I continue to tell her, “No matter what, nothing is permanent. If you want to go home after a year, you can. Hell, if you want to go home after a week, the option is always going to be there”.

And it’s true about anything. Sure, some things feel more permanent than others. But the reality is, it is as easy as purchasing a plane ticket and leaving the next afternoon {if necessary}. I believe in following through with plans and allowing myself to grow through tough times while abroad, but knowing I always have the option to throw my hands up and get on the next plane, brings me comfort somehow.

Embrace being alone!

And finally, embrace the chance you have to be alone! There is a very limited amount of time spent in our lives that we truly get to be alone. Most people cringe when I tell them I’ve eaten at restaurants, seen movies, and attended musicals alone. But I live for it.

When you learn to become your own best friend, you stop feeling that sense of loneliness, and begin to feel empowered. I’ve always been independent, but over the last few years, I cannot remember the last time I felt homesick. And I was abroad for nearly a year in 2016, and recently moved to New York City.

I blame it wholeheartedly on the fact that I have embraced time spent alone. And now thrive off of it any chance I get. And this is coming from a very social person. I am an extrovert at heart meaning that I become recharged by the company of others. I am proactive about surrounding myself with people as often as possible, and my calendar stays pretty full. But traveling has given me the greatest gift. The gift of being alone. And fully embracing it.

If you are feeling homesick, I want you to know that it will get better. Even if it takes a long time. They say it takes at least six months to acclimate to a new place. And that is not thriving, people. That is just becoming aware of a change in lifestyle. So give yourself a break.

The breakdowns will happen less and less. You will meet new people who will be in a similar situation as you are. Regardless, your life is going to change for the better if you have chosen to move abroad! Remember why you did it in the first place. Then embrace it!