FOCUS ON ME

I’ve recently been taking a page out of Ariana Grande’s book. Rocking a half up pony and bringing sass to the table way more often than not. I basically listen to ‘Focus On Me’ on repeat most mornings to start my day. Such a great ‘I don’t give a shit’ anthem. One of those songs that will put me in a great mood no matter the occasion.

But the sass-filled song presents a message more than just a tinny bopper dancing in mini skirts. The message to focus on yourself is something I have discovered to be so valuable.

We have all been told those confusing and contradicting words: You cannot love another person until you learn to love yourself.

I’m here to tell you I finally get it.

I recently read an article contradicting the ridiculous note of advice. That we can easily love others and still be working on ourselves. And I believe that to be true as well. I’ve loved many people in my big world, without necessarily loving myself. We are our own biggest critic. Jealousy, insecurities, and envy are all revealed due to this.

But I think we can all agree, relationships of any kind function better without these things.

It is way too easy in this day and age to over obsess about social media. To constantly compare yourself to those Instagram models, Facebook stalk all of your boyfriends’ ex’s, and cry yourself to sleep as you stuff a cookie in your mouth looking at ‘Fitspiration’ Pinterest boards.

We focus way too much attention on those things, than on simply dedicating those efforts to ourselves.

One morning I woke up and realized how exhausting it was to constantly compare myself to other people.

The reality is, people enjoy happy people. You find the most attractive people to be those who showcase confidence, laugh a lot, and generally seem to be enjoying their lives. Whether they are sponsored by skinny teas and teeth whitening lights, or not…

Once I realized I can begin to let go of some of these social standards placed upon us due to our accessibility to everyone and every thing, I relaxed.

The truth is, if I want to look bomb in a bikini {which I obviously do}, then I can eat healthy and go to the gym. If I want to feel secure in my relationships, then I need to love who I am. So that if someone else doesn’t, it doesn’t affect me. If I want to do the things that other people are doing, then I need to focus on them and do them myself. Not just be a bystander sulking with envy.

I want to be the best version of myself that I can be. Focus on me. So that I can wake up without wanting to compete with the world.

For the most part, I do kill this in certain areas of my life.

I have no shame in taking pictures for my blog because it’s a passion of mine that I want to be proud of it. I mean, who truly wants to walk around a Lavender field with their tripod taking self-timer photos. I don’t. But I do it and I don’t let the judgement of others stop me from capturing the moments that I desire.

But I still find myself complaining about the smallest matters, rather than focusing on becoming a better version of myself. The complaining and stressing needs to stop. And the accepting and working needs to continue. Most of these are in my total control.

I believe that once I focus on this, waking up each morning with a plan on how I am going to be happy with myself, I will find some inner peace that will waterfall into my relationships. Making myself happy will in turn make those around me happy. And if it doesn’t make others happy… I’m still happy.

And that’s the point of all of this right? Happiness.

So I’m making a promise to myself, to focus on me.

What makes me happy?

What is important to me?

What do I need?

Regardless of what others say, do, and react to it.

Don’t get me wrong, I will always give what I’ve got to those I love.

But I want to have a lot to give.

And that starts with me.

I’ve been slightly MIA from my blog and social media recently, but I feel back on track and ready to get to publishing again. 11 days left in London. It’s hard to believe. I will be sad to say ‘good-bye’, but since I get to say ‘hello’ to Spain, it won’t be difficult to board the plane.

And last note,

these Lavender fields though!

One of my highlights from being here in London was walking through these gorgeous fields of purple. You can get to the Mayfield Lavender Fields, in Surrey, via car or public transport. It took a tube, train, and a bus for me to arrive via public transport. But absolutely worth the journey. July – August is the best time to visit! More info here.

Next up, sunsets with an old friend and a girls trip to Brighton!