There were many new cultural norms I learned after moving to Korea. I must pride myself on how well I’ve committed to avoiding taboos since I arrived in Asia. Diligent research prior to arriving definitely helped in with this. That being said, there are still a rare few that I find myself forgetting.
I don’t struggle with two many of the customs on this list, however I do find it interesting to note that some of them aren’t always followed by Koreans themselves. As an American, I find that a number of cultural norms are warranted, and others not so much. However, as a guest in the country, I always do my best to show proper respect regardless.
1. Passing items with one hand
It is Korean culture to pass and receive everything with two hands. That being said, there are different methods of doing so. First, you can use both hands as mentioned before. Secondly, you can receive or pass with one hand {let’s say left}, and rest the other hand {right hand} in the bend of your {left} elbow {or on your left bicep}. Thirdly, you can receive or pass with one hand {let’s say right}, and place your other hand {left hand} to your body {basically on your ribs}. This custom is all about respect here in Korea.
While you should always use both hands when receiving and passing, I must say there are certain times where my co-teacher hands me something with one hand. I am always very good about using both hands {especially with someone of higher rank/older than me}. However, with my non-Korean friends {and sometimes co-teacher}, I find myself forgetting to do so.
2. Wearing slippers outside
You should always take your shoes off before entering someones’ home. It’s a huge sign of respect here in Korea. You may also be asked to remove your shoes before entering a restaurant, though this is all up to the discretion of the restaurant. If you work at a school in Korea, you will be asked to bring slippers to school. When you arrive in the mornings, you’ll change into them, and leave your ‘outside shoes’ outside until you finish your day.
Although in theory the last point makes sense, I don’t find it as efficient as the others. For example, our elementary school has multiple buildings that require us to walk outside in order to reach them. Therefore, we are wearing our ‘slippers’ outside, just as much as we are indoors. Regardless, everyone does it.
3. Pouring your own drink
Drinking is a sport in Korea – with strict rules enforced. The most important of them being: never pour your own drink. Someone else should always pour for you, and therefore you should always pour for someone else {especially your elders}. As noted before, always receive any drink with two hands. When I am with my Korean friends, I try my absolute best to follow this rule.
However, I will sometimes get carried away and not think about the fact that I’m refilling my own water glass. Being from the states, it is definitely polite to pour for others, but it’s also encouraged to ‘help yourself’. When I am with my non-Korean friends, we usually fend for ourselves. A lot of the time someone will pour the first round for everyone, and then we are left to our own devices.
4. Making eye contact
Making eye contact was something that the EPIK coordinators mentioned at orientation. They said it’s common for students to avoid making eye contact. In fact, it can be regarded as disrespectful to make eye contact with someone of higher rank than you. It is essentially saying you view them as your equal.
Growing up in America, it is a sign of respect to make eye contact with someone. It shows your are listening to what that person has to say. It also shows confidence. This is the custom that I have the hardest time with here in Korea. Honestly, I am constantly making eye contact with people. I frequently refer to my ‘foreigner card’ in these instances, and blame it on my own cultural differences. However, my students constantly make eye contact with me, and no one older than me has mentioned anything negative about my social manners {yet} so I’m taking that as a win.
5. Leaving your chopsticks in your soup
Leaving chopsticks lying vertically in soup, ramen, rice, etc. is also a sign of disrespect in Korea. Mainly because chopsticks are utilized in this way during funerals. In my experience so far, I find this taboo to be less enforced than other customs. My friends {both Korean and not} leave their chopsticks all over the place without any regard as to their placement. This isn’t always the case though, and since arriving I have never left my chopsticks in a bowl – just to be safe!
6. Pointing with your index finger
Another easy way to find yourself offending someone in Korea, is to use your index finger while pointing. Therefore, everyone uses the middle finger or their entire hand when referencing something. Personally, I use my entire hand with my palm facing up. Being from the states, I tend to avoid the middle finger at all times…
7. Beckoning someone with your palms facing up
An instance where you shouldn’t use your entire hand with your palm facing up, is when you are calling someone over. There is a distinct difference between this point and the last. If you are pointing to someone or something, it’s okay to reveal your palm – just don’t move your hand. Once you make any motion {usually to call someone over to you}, you must flip the hand over and gesture towards yourself. Move your hand up and down vertically {as if you were trying to cool off a pie} with your palm facing the ground.
To beckon for someone to approach you with your palms up is how Koreans summon their dogs. As disrespectful as it is, I have seen Koreans use this form of motion since being here, so don’t feel extremely guilty if you slip up accidentally.
8. Mentioning the ‘Sea of Japan’
Referring to the body of water between Japan and Korea as the ‘Sea of Japan’ is a big no-no in Korea. Here it is considered the ‘East Sea’, and it’s simply not open for debate. If you are used to calling it the ‘Sea of Japan’, you should quickly find ways to break the habit.
9. Revealing your shoulders
And finally, revealing your shoulders. It’s taken me nearly six months to show my shoulders here in Korea. In general, Korea is a rather conservative country. Don’t be surprised if you get some unwarranted looks in your direction when you bare your shoulders. In Korea is looked upon as ‘sexual’ or ‘promiscuous’ to do so. That being said, the length of your mini-skirt has absolutely zero repercussions… but hey, to each their own.
Even though it is considered a fashion faux pas in Korea, more and more Korean’s are removing the stigma it brings with it. Once I noticed multiple women exposing their shoulders in Daegu {the most conservative city in the country}, I decided to purchase a few sleeveless items. Of course I would never wear them to work, but it feels amazing to wear something I’m comfortable in, especially in the dreadful summer heat.
Over to you, have you committed any of these Korean taboos?
